Jessica's Blog

What do you collect?

The souls of dead millionaires.

Dragons and magic

You may have noticed I have a new banner. I got bored. Anyway, while looking for photos to use I found some of the ones of marie at the dandys and using scrapblog (all of the banners I make use images from there) I found these lovely fantasy things, and they fit sooo awesomely. I want to do something more with them, but need to go to bed, so maybe in the morning, if I still feel like it.

Banner lambs2

And that is the banner. I think I still like the old one better, but I wanted a change, so this one is staying put for now. I may change it again soon. Who knows.

I finished the book and all I can say is wow. I think that a lot of the reason that I enjoyed it was the honesty of it. There are so many books that just don’t seem to have honest endings; they have cop outs that give everyone a happy ending that just doesn’t seem to fit. I always hate it when they do that. Do they think that their readers won’t be able to deal with it, or can they just not bear to do that to their characters? It’s just like what they did to the northern lights and it drives me nuts.

The night angel trilogy was amazing because it never did that. The book had some really dark parts, parts that never got explained, and some really sad bits. Yes I did cry, the book was very sad, and I predicted most of the ending as well, though oddly that did not annoy me. The book was honest, the author did not try hard to avoid cliché as so many do (and inevitably just make it worse.) I think that is what made the book great.

I liked how I could believe in the characters. I liked the amazing lines and how power and love corrupted and turned good characters into rapists and mass murderers. I think he had the most successful use of prophesy I’ve seen in a while. I loved how it all made sense and didn’t give anything away.

I loved the line it came down to. Seriously awesome, and something you might actually say. Whatever. Awesome book. I demand you read it, and I demand you ship and don’t take the obvious choices. I also demand you play guess the royalty and try to work out which of the males are or will be, or have been royalty.

READ IT!

9:44

*WARNING: This post was typed in Dvorak and likley will have realy bad typos.

I hate it when books do this to me. When they are awesome and I fall in love with the characters, and then they shatter everything. Arrrrrrrrg it happened with Lupin and Tonks. And it just happened again. AHETNEHTNOEA I just want to scream, Dude Brent Weeks is a brilliant, horrible evil man. That was done so damn well. I don't think it could be any more shattering. I want to know what happens but I can't cause I'm so Arrrrrrrrrrggg!

I hate it when authors do this to me.

10:06

It took me along time to type this.

I'm at 8 WPM atm

I was writing random stuff today, practicing my typing. I have no idea what it was realy about but I found writing with such slow speeds intresting. This is what I wrote. I also found a program that tracks your speed while you write in word. 9 wpm.

What have I become?  I try with all I Have but still it is destroyed. When I think of what I have done and what my intentions were it is hard to recognize the two paths that I see before me. I intend to protect my family and find in my absence their houses burnt and cattle stolen, I seek to heal and find I poison. The flowers I love wilt and die even as I water them. Is it my fate? Is it my fate to watch my intentions shattered by fortune or fate or ill will?

I wish that I could change my lot. I wish that there was a spell or some power that could change what I think of as fate into...

It only took an entire ad to write this. At least it wasn't the entire add break.

Apparently I type five words per minute. That seems very slow. I want to be faster. This is both very fun and freaking frustrating.

I have no idea if anyone is intrested in this at all, and mostly I am typing this in order to practice, but I shall be documenting my progress here. Likely the the the the the posts will get longer as I get more comfortable with layout. God that took a long time to write. I want to be able to write as fast as I think.

I did another typing test. I got seven words per minute this time. It seemed easyer this time. I have a fair idea of letters like aoeuidhtns well the home row anyway. Also I think I'm O.K with l,m and f as well as the full stop and comma. Yay.

Good night.

I had another one of those dreams the other day, one of those ones that demand to be writen. It made less sence than some of the others that always insist on bugging me, but it had enough of a plot and some characters who struck me. But anyway, I figured I might do a listing of those dreams that need to be written, so that they bug me more. Which I don't realy want, but hell maybe this will satisfy them?

Sometimes I wish my imagination was less inventive, or at least less insistant that I turn every dream into a novel.

So here are the dreams I need to write, with a short (I hope) description, a few of my most vividly remembered scenes, and whatever other details I stick in.

The most recent dream which has not been named yet.

Not sure where exactly this one started. I know there was alot of the start which has completely evaporated from my memory. I was engaged to a man who I was completely in love with. I know that much, I completely adored him, and had known I would marry him for years. Anyway, we had finally gotten engaged, and where going to be married in a year. But I started being odd, having realllly bad mood swings, and I mean realy bad, to the point of losing control of my actions completely. I also started to have a feeling that it was something to do with my grandfather.

In this world each little setlement had a guardian who had magical? power, and defended the setlement, or sought to extend its powers by defeating neigboring guardians and taking their magic, wich was symbolised by a stone. Apparently anyone who had this power is somehow bound to the mountains/cliff faces, and as you move further from your own you get weaker, making gaining more power very dangerous.

Anyway, it got to the point where I knew I had to talk to my grandfather, and my fience insisted on coming with me. We climbed the mountain/cliff face (I'm realy unsure of which it was) it was realy beautiful, but the higher we got, the narrower the path became. There wher seventeen levels, which where flatter areas where my grandfather grazed his goats, or grew vegetables, or whatever. On one there was a realy beautiful waterfall and a pool, surounded by trees. We got to the point where the path was realy narrow, and I was freaking apparently afraid of heights. I decided to talk to my grandfather alone.

When he saw me he reacted by swearing atrociously, telling me that I should not have come, and then softening and telling me that I should have sent 'my boy' up and waited on a lower level. I told him why I had come and he got all cold on me again. Eventualy he told me that I was inheriting the stone thing, which I was somewhat happy about, but he was horrified. I found out why when he told me it would ruin my life. I couldn't marry. I would be bound to the mountain, it would be years becore I could visit the town and I wouldn't be myself when I did. "Mood swings are nothing." He also told me that my boy would marry someone else, but that he loved me, so his life was ruined as well, he'd never be happy, and eventualy he would come to me, and I better damn well do the right thing.

I was very upset, and my grandfather explained the rest of what I needed to know, and then gave me the damned stone. And told me I was the first woman guardian in a couple of decades. "Congratulations, your now chief midwife of the whole of everywhere. Don't bloody know why, but try to act the part." great. thanks. He told me he was going to seek another stone, and then he left. My boy came up eventualy, and I told him about what had happened, and cried alot.

He left and told everyone what had happened. He also tried to insist on getting married to me, which resulted on my mother visiting me on the top level (I couldn't go down at all) and telling me 50 reasons why I shouldn't make him marry me. Including the point of me living on a mountain. She left, and I told him the wedding was off.

Skip a few years, and some realy terrible emotional adjustments, and I can now travel all over the mountain freely. I havn't seen my boy in 3 years. I get bored, ALOT. And content myself by building things on the different levels. Because I can't leave the mountain, the only people who I get to see are pregnant women who come to me for advice. They have told me all about my boys wife, who I knew vaugley, and who EVERYONE likes, which of cource just makes me like her less. Shes all politicly involved, and clever and pretty and I hate her. Anyway, shes already had two kids but didn't come to me. She only comes to me cause she thinks something is wrong. My boy stays a way down the mountain.

She had a baby boy, who was born horribly deformed (that image is bloody haunting me) and he wasn't breathing, and she was crying at me to save him. And it was horrible because I knew I could. I was about to, and then it hit me that the boy would never walk, that he would be completely dependant on his parents, that his brain had been damaged by the time hed spent deprived of oxygen, and that he would be a trap for his parents and for himself. So I let him die, cause I knew as much as his parents might hate me for letting him die, they would hate me more when they realised what it cost them to have him live.

We cried on eachothers shoulders and I realised I didn't hate her so much. I went down a level and collected my man, and it was horrible cause I was all guilty and so was he. He looked after her and they left. But he came back, and we talked alot. He helped me off the mountain for the first time, and it went ok till I lost control and turned into some kind of animal and lost my mind and when running back. But he came back again and told me I should try and heal my relationship with his wife because she would be a great ally.

(Ah crap, I fail at the short bit) Well things went brilliantly because I manged to get pregnant to him. Whoot. Ah fuck. My grandfather turned up and went off at me for being a complete idiot. He then disapeared promptly. I realised that I'd have to give the child up, and knew I had to give it to them to raise. I went down the mountain by myself and told them, and his wife amazingly agreed to raise the child, though there was some serious spite in her eyes.

And then when He was helping me back to the mountain, theres this salesman, who claims to be christopher tolkien, who was selling 'new' tolkien books. I had an argument with him about the difference between his father writing stuff and him writing stuff. Then I picked up a book and discovered that it was the lord of the rings, but only books one and 6, and in the middle instead of the rest of the books are the words "And stuff happens." I dropped the book and punched him in the jaw, and then went to punch him again and he bloody caught my puches which was so wrong, I had the gem. OH CRAP. He's a freaking guardian, he must have taken the powers from somewhere else, cause hes more powerful than me. In fact hes beating the shit out of me. Opps. Also: WAKE UP TIME. Arg. Now I need to work out what happens. Damn it.

Also, I need sleep so am going to bed, I'll continue what will probably be an insanely long post tomorrow.

I had another one of those dreams the other day, one of those ones that demand to be writen. It made less sence than some of the others that always insist on bugging me, but it had enough of a plot and some characters who struck me. But anyway, I figured I might do a listing of those dreams that need to be written, so that they bug me more. Which I don't realy want, but hell maybe this will satisfy them?

Sometimes I wish my imagination was less inventive, or at least less insistant that I turn every dream into a novel.

So here are the dreams I need to write, with a short (I hope) description, a few of my most vividly remembered scenes, and whatever other details I stick in.

The most recent dream which has not been named yet.

Not sure where exactly this one started. I know there was alot of the start which has completely evaporated from my memory. I was engaged to a man who I was completely in love with. I know that much, I completely adored him, and had known I would marry him for years. Anyway, we had finally gotten engaged, and where going to be married in a year. But I started being odd, having realllly bad mood swings, and I mean realy bad, to the point of losing control of my actions completely. I also started to have a feeling that it was something to do with my grandfather.

In this world each little setlement had a guardian who had magical? power, and defended the setlement, or sought to extend its powers by defeating neigboring guardians and taking their magic, wich was symbolised by a stone. Apparently anyone who had this power is somehow bound to the mountains/cliff faces, and as you move further from your own you get weaker, making gaining more power very dangerous.

Anyway, it got to the point where I knew I had to talk to my grandfather, and my fience insisted on coming with me. We climbed the mountain/cliff face (I'm realy unsure of which it was) it was realy beautiful, but the higher we got, the narrower the path became. There wher seventeen levels, which where flatter areas where my grandfather grazed his goats, or grew vegetables, or whatever. On one there was a realy beautiful waterfall and a pool, surounded by trees. We got to the point where the path was realy narrow, and I was freaking apparently afraid of heights. I decided to talk to my grandfather alone.

When he saw me he reacted by swearing atrociously, telling me that I should not have come, and then softening and telling me that I should have sent 'my boy' up and waited on a lower level. I told him why I had come and he got all cold on me again. Eventualy he told me that I was inheriting the stone thing, which I was somewhat happy about, but he was horrified. I found out why when he told me it would ruin my life. I couldn't marry. I would be bound to the mountain, it would be years becore I could visit the town and I wouldn't be myself when I did. "Mood swings are nothing." He also told me that my boy would marry someone else, but that he loved me, so his life was ruined as well, he'd never be happy, and eventualy he would come to me, and I better damn well do the right thing.

I was very upset, and my grandfather explained the rest of what I needed to know, and then gave me the damned stone. And told me I was the first woman guardian in a couple of decades. "Congratulations, your now chief midwife of the whole of everywhere. Don't bloody know why, but try to act the part." great. thanks. He told me he was going to seek another stone, and then he left. My boy came up eventualy, and I told him about what had happened, and cried alot.

He left and told everyone what had happened. He also tried to insist on getting married to me, which resulted on my mother visiting me on the top level (I couldn't go down at all) and telling me 50 reasons why I shouldn't make him marry me. Including the point of me living on a mountain. She left, and I told him the wedding was off.

Skip a few years, and some realy terrible emotional adjustments, and I can now travel all over the mountain freely. I havn't seen my boy in 3 years. I get bored, ALOT. And content myself by building things on the different levels. Because I can't leave the mountain, the only people who I get to see are pregnant women who come to me for advice. They have told me all about my boys wife, who I knew vaugley, and who EVERYONE likes, which of cource just makes me like her less. Shes all politicly involved, and clever and pretty and I hate her. Anyway, shes already had two kids but didn't come to me. She only comes to me cause she thinks something is wrong. My boy stays a way down the mountain.

She had a baby boy, who was born horribly deformed (that image is bloody haunting me) and he wasn't breathing, and she was crying at me to save him. And it was horrible because I knew I could. I was about to, and then it hit me that the boy would never walk, that he would be completely dependant on his parents, that his brain had been damaged by the time hed spent deprived of oxygen, and that he would be a trap for his parents and for himself. So I let him die, cause I knew as much as his parents might hate me for letting him die, they would hate me more when they realised what it cost them to have him live.

We cried on eachothers shoulders and I realised I didn't hate her so much. I went down a level and collected my man, and it was horrible cause I was all guilty and so was he. He looked after her and they left. But he came back, and we talked alot. He helped me off the mountain for the first time, and it went ok till I lost control and turned into some kind of animal and lost my mind and when running back. But he came back again and told me I should try and heal my relationship with his wife because she would be a great ally.

(Ah crap, I fail at the short bit) Well things went brilliantly because I manged to get pregnant to him. Whoot. Ah fuck. My grandfather turned up and went off at me for being a complete idiot. *EDIT* I begged him to tell me how I could give up the powers. And he told me, that I would have to give them to the person in the village who had the most pottential power. And then he told me that it was my man. So I was absolutly trapped. Give it up and ruin his life? His kids lives? We had been traped from the start. Either he would have the power or I would. *EDIT* He then disapeared promptly. I realised that I'd have to give the child up, and knew I had to give it to them to raise. I went down the mountain by myself and told them, and his wife amazingly agreed to raise the child, though there was some serious spite in her eyes.

And then when He was helping me back to the mountain, theres this salesman, who claims to be christopher tolkien, who was selling 'new' tolkien books. I had an argument with him about the difference between his father writing stuff and him writing stuff. Then I picked up a book and discovered that it was the lord of the rings, but only books one and 6, and in the middle instead of the rest of the books are the words "And stuff happens." I dropped the book and punched him in the jaw, and then went to punch him again and he bloody caught my puches which was so wrong, I had the gem. OH CRAP. He's a freaking guardian, he must have taken the powers from somewhere else, cause hes more powerful than me. In fact hes beating the shit out of me. Opps. Also: WAKE UP TIME. Arg. Now I need to work out what happens. Damn it.

Also, I need sleep so am going to bed, I'll continue what will probably be an insanely long post tomorrow.

Yes, added a crucial bit which I knew but somehow forgot. Whoot.

Drop Bears

Drop Bears?

Yup, another dnd post, mainly for Marie's benefit as she was not there, and I'm guessing may want to know a few details. People who where there, and remember stuff I have forgoten, please add details as a comment, cause my memory is not that good.

Short summery of previous few sessions: The group had been investigating a murder, and feeling like we were running around in circles. We stumbled across the house of lady Andrea Dawkins who freeeeked us out rather allot by repeatedly offering tea and apearing to forget stuff all the time, and also by having doors without key holes that where perminantly locked. We finaly got a break when someone offered to sell us info in return for some crystal sheets, and informed us that is was Lady dawkins commiting the murders. We staked out her house, and managed to piss off the neighbors and have difficulty with the guards who didn't like us hanging around, and very nearly sent Betty to an insane assylumn. We followed her to that Inn we always visit that I have forgotten the name of, and while most of us got arrested, Sam followed her, interupped a murder, and followed her to a grave yard. He was prevented from going any further when he ran into large hideous monster. We regrouped, killed said monster and went into the underground thingy (me no good with words today) eventualy finding a room occupied by a vampire, who quickly charmed everyone but Joanne and Twysen, as Twysen was busy stealing the record from the gramaphone, and Joanne was preventing a stream of blood from reaching the alter where the body of Lady Andrea lay. Arineal broke down at the prospect of having a real friend. Twysen joined in stopping the blood, but eventually Joanne was charmed. Several of us left Twyen managed to set fire to, and kill the vampire with a spell, stopped the ritual and stole the book from which the spell seemed to be driven. Several of the charmed people when he informed us of what had happened re-claimed the book, re started the ritual, and Lady Andrea was only prevented from being turned into some undead abomination when the charm spell wore off and they managed to close the book and smoosh her body into a pulp.
We returned to the Ichanii to inform them we had destroyed the murdered, they exclaimed that it didn't matter and sent us to investigate a village they had lost contact with.

The group reached Destar, and entered the town. Almost imediatly people started to recognise Twysen, hailing him as a hero for escaping the slavers. We made our way to Harveys house, which was a small cottage that was well tended with a very nice garden, next to a river. Joanne had second thoughts about being reunited with him, and eventualy decided to pick the lock and sneak in and suprise him. She was interupeted by a passer by who informed the group that he hadn't seen Harvey in a long time. Paniked, Joanne searched the house assisted by Sam, while another person came and talked to the group. Sam jumped out the back window, Joanne enterd via the front, and told the man that Harvey was her sort of ex boyfriend and she was lookign for him. He pointed out that Harvey stayed at the monastry, about an hours walk away, and left. They group went to an inn, which demeanded that they not carry weapons. Everyone buut Sam handed them over, Sam showed his Ichanii ring and said he would not go unarmed. When he noticed the group of Monks eating, he also exclaimed that it was rather unfair. He was allowed to keep his weapons and we all ordered the spiecials, Betty managing to intimidate the waitor rather badly, who reacted by giving Betty their strongest ale.

There was a man and a woman on another table who joined us. Betty took a great liking to the man who looked, big, strong slow and stupid like him and whom judging by their handshake would be a challenge for Betty to beat up. Evntualy everyone went to bed. In the morning Joanne recruited Twysen to come to the Monastary with her and find Harvey. Twysen had a hangover.

*I paid very little attention to what was happening with Betty and Sam, having had little sleep and being unable to focus well. I shall relate what I gathered, but I don't mind much not knowing all that much of what they did, cause it eliminates the need for me to remember that Joanne doesn't know. So yay.*

Twysen and Joanne reached the monastary and realised that the Brothers where busy with their daily meditation, and probably wouldn't be around for a while. Twysen found himself a clasic meditation garden and meditated, while Joanne paced nervously. Eventualy the brothers started to complete their meditations, and Joanne talked to one she recognised (whom did not recognise her) and found out Harvey would be a while, and offered to tell him that she was looking for him. He also suggested she join them for breakfast. She agreed, and went to find Twysen so he could also join them, but as he was meditating rather better than she would have suspected he didn't react to her at all. She had breakfast, and Harvey came downstairs resulting in them running towards each other (Harvey apearing to move in slow motion) hugging, and then Harvey saying "Can we get married now:" in a very sleazy voice.

Joanne agreed, and they where swamped by monks, and also twysen who had apparently heard the news through his meditations and was very excited.

"Congratulations!" exclaimed a random monk, "Now you can adopt children!"
Joanne began to thank him and then realised what he was saying "Adopt?" she shot a look at harvey.
Another monk joined them "Did I hear you where adopting children? How wonderful."

When the monks backed off a bit, Joanne asked harvey about the significance of this, and told him she hoped in meant there was not going to be anything missing from the ceremony.

Soon after they left the monastry and went to return to the Inn. Twysen followed at a short distance while eating an apple in a rather disturbing way. He also managed to choke himself on it at some point.

Joanne and harvey spent ages trying to work out how her mother would react to the news and whether they should tell her. The suspected reaction started with somehow convincing her that yes, this was her daughter, and continued with her exclaiming that now Joanne was so tall she could find an excelent marrige for her, and when they told her that they planne to be married, quizing them on when and how many children they planned to have, and then pulling her aside to discuss the birds and the bees. Twysen constantly suggested NOT telling her, which they eventualy decided on.

They returned to the inn. They had been sitting there for a while when a group of people with wooden swords and pikes ran past. The checked to see nothing too scary was going on, and then went to go and get their marrige registered at the town council. It turned out it would take 4 days to get the certificate.

The seremony would be done in the monastary and part of it involved meditating from sunset to sunrise while three significant people from their lives chanted for twelve hours. Twysen agreed to chant on Joannes behalf. They also decided to wait till her father returned from a mission.

Sam and Betty returned, telling them they had been 'training recruits' and something about a smuggling opperation.

The next day they decided to go investigate the village the Ichanni had lost contact with. Arineal stayed in the inn, possibly having found himself a boy friend *insert horrible suggestions* They went to the village and wound that all the buildings where spattered with blood. There where some burrnt out buildings. They searched several buildings finding the contents of them smashed and evidence of blood everywhere. In one building it apeared a stand had been made, baricades had been put up, and then destroyed from the inside. Twysen found a barn with dead animals inside many bones and a dead cow whose insides and one leg had been eaten. We looked for tracks, but these had been washed away by rain. Twysen had a conversation with a seagul that had alot of attitude, and it told him that bad people had burnt some of the buildings, and retrated to the forrest "...big trees there." there was also something that implied that they may have left with more of the bad things than there had been to begin with.

The group moved back to where they had seen some red eyed creatures in the shrubs, and decided to go into the forest. 
 
Hum, feeling lazy again, shall write mure on this later.

Do you remember when I talked about meeting Trudi Canavan and how she told us that she belivied the reason she had gotten her books published was that she had written a million words before she ever tried. She told us something along the lines of 'I belive you have to write a million words before you can writte anything good.'

This, along with me being about to complete Nanowrimo 2008 (and rather a bit above 50,000 words may I add) has inspired me to set myself a challenge. I will write 1 million words by the time I graduate from Uni. Assignments, creative writing, and any blog posts/other writing that I have put at least some deal of effort into will count towards the overall word count. Doing stuff like taking lecture notes will not. I'll take it on a case by case basis. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I can achieve this, and more than anything it is about giving myself a reason to write all of those things I have been meaning to get writen. So, I'm going to start tracking my progress here. And I'm going to break it down as well, to track my progress on individual projects and show how much progress I am making.

If anyone else wants to join me on the challenge heres the break down: Write 1,000,000 words in three years, 333,334 a year, 27,777 words a month, or 915 words a day... around about. It realy doesn't seem that hard does it? Not when you compare it to nano pacing, and take into acount that you are going to be writing 3 Nano's in this time period, and a hell of alot of essays. Oh and also, I'm starting this challenge retrospectivly, from November 1 this year. The aim is to learn about myself, about how I write, and to get stuff writen. It's a little less fast paced than nano, and I will probably give up in a months time, but hell, it's worth a try.

My progress so far:

<a href="http://www.languageisavirus.com/nanowrimo/word-meter.html" target="_blank" title="NaNoWriMo writing toys games & gadgets">

Oh and as for my 2008 Nano, Wunderkind:
<a href="http://www.languageisavirus.com/nanowrimo/word-meter.html" target="_blank" title="NaNoWriMo writing toys games & gadgets">

I think I did well enough, don't you think.