Jessica’s Neighborhood

Share one of your favorite quotes.

  "Da ting. Da ting that cleans da ting. Da ting cleaner." ~ Bernard Black, Black Books

"It's like looking into the eyes of a duck," "And sucking all the liquid from it's beak." ~ (about fine wine) Bernard and Manny, Black Books

While uni's done its best this week to crush my spirits with mountainous piles of work, the pool club, at least, has taken some pity on me. Tonight was my first uni pool tournament, and while I expected one of the many pool regulars who haunt the Union House pub every lunchtime to knock me out in the first round, I actually managed to hang on for a couple of games! Will and Michael made it to the final of the doubles tournament, which resulted in the most nail-biting game of pool I've ever witnessed. I'd be out in the garage training for the next tournament now if it weren't so friggin' cold outside.

Meanwhile, life rolls on. I interviewed Catalina yesterday morning for my Professional Writing assignment, which was pretty cool. I could definitely see myself being a journalist in the future, if all you have to do is meet interesting people and then write about it. One thing occured to me, however, while I was contemplating the write-up. Journalism is essentially a professional version of Chinese whispers. Someone experiences something, which then gets warped into something else inside their brain. Then they relate it to you, you put it into writing, and by the time people actually read it and interpret it in their own individual way, you're lucky if there's a grain of truth left in the story. Even for the most serious journalists it's a struggle. I can't even imagine what relationship the stories in gossip magazines have to reality. One of my favourite quotes is, "The more words you use to describe something, the less true it becomes." Simply putting something down in writing changes its meaning. So essentially journalism is just a bunch of lies and some pretty pictures.

I've started reading more books lately, too. I don't know whether Media and Comm has inspired me, or whether it's just a phase I'm going through, but I have this desperate need to read everything I possibly can. Academic learning always pissed me off, but now that I'm out of school, I think the grudge I developed in response to schoolwork seems to have warn off. I've got a pile of books about media and politics a metre high that I need to find time to read. Also I've become addicted to watching Fox News. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm off to try and catch up on all the work I haven't done this week as a result of watching too much Olympics. There aren't enough hours in the day.

Caitlin

I haven't blogged for a while - partly because I've been busy trying to find work, and partly because the blogging part of my brain has been preoccupied with the blog I have to keep for uni. Yes, that's right - Melbourne Uni has joined the revolution. My Culture, Media and Everyday Life lecturers, in an effort to spread the cyber love, have set up a blogging system for us students to use in order to chat about the week's topic. Ever wondered what Facebook has in common with a panopticon? Oh, you don't know what that is? Here.

I've been back at uni for two weeks now, and it's all going pretty well. Professional Writing and Australian Politics get two solid thumbs up. Internet Meets Society still has potential, but the lectures so far haven't been anything special. Culture, Media and Everyday Life is, well... only 10 more weeks to go.

More importantly, the Olympics have started! I didn't think I was going to be that excited about it, but I've been watching obsessively for the last three days. I guess if I'm ever going to feel patriotic, the Olympics is the time to do it. The Opening Ceremony was really cool, but aside from the ridiculously cool display the Chinese put on, it was lovely to see all the countries walk out together. Iraq and Iran got a big cheer from the crowd, and I couldn't help thinking that if we had the Olympics every year, we might be a little closer to world peace.

My first assignment for Professional Writing is a magazine profile, which means that I have to interview someone and then write it up in the style of a certain magazine. I'm going to interview Cato about going away to China with the Gap Program, and might even work the Olympics in there somewhere. Strangely, I am actually looking forward to this assignment. It just goes to show that academia can be fun - when you take the academic part out of it. No references for the win!

Anyway, I'd better go back to watching the Aussies win medals!

Caitlin

Which of The Ten Commandments have you broken or would you consider breaking? Why?
Submitted by balderick24.

All of the following:

1. "I am the Lord your God"   -  Like hell you are.
2. "You shall have no other gods before me"  - Why the hell not?
3. "You shall not make for yourself an idol... You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me"  -  *Raises eyebrows* What a charming man, to be sure.
4. "You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your God"  - Oh God, I think I've broken that one too!
5. "For six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns."  - Oh dear, I think that at some point in the past I might just possibly have rested in the week and  worked on a sunday ... and I think my slaves and oxen and aliens might have done so too. We're all going to Hell!
6. "Honour your mother and your father" - all very well to say, and I do try, but honestly ... I'm a teenager for god's sake. Oh no, there goes that 4th commandment again.

7. "You shall not commit adultery." - This one comes down here cos I'm just not all that firm a believer in the holy vows of marriage.

10. "You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour." - But that oxen is just so darn HOT.

And here are the one's I'm hoping not to break too badly in my lifetime:

6. "You shall not murder"

8. "You shall not steal"
9. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour"

Hmmm. Yup. Let's all go burn in hell now :D

A recent study suggests that radiation from cell phones may cause cancer; what, if any, cell phone usage precautions will you take in light of this information?
Submitted by Tim.

Burn hard copies of the study and create a virus to delete all electronic copies.
Once no-one can prove it, there will no longer be a problem.
Logic ftw.

Share your favorite poem.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening 

by Robert Frost 

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

**

Well, uni.

I have to admit that it's a relief to be back at the old Mel U (so called by one American student I met). There comes a certain point at which one wonders exactly how long you can sit around and do nothing before it becomes a waste of your time. I'd put it at about 2 months. Anyway, it's good to be back.

First day of lectures is always bizarre, because everybody else is a stranger. I always get to first lectures early just in case there's actually someone else out there who will voluntarily make eye contact with students they don't know. There's a specific pattern that emerges as new students wander over to await the lecture. The corners of the room fill up quickly with kids sporting iPod headphones; then the middle of the space against the walls becomes the next best bet. Finally students start positioning themselves at intervals around the wall before it becomes necessary to stand in order to avoid sitting inappropriately close to someone who may not be very friendly. There is a very real fear of sitting down next to someone who you may turn out to have nothing in common with, because by the time you've figured that out it's too late - you have to sit next to them for the lecture. Ah, First Lecture Politics.

My first class for the semester was Culture, Media and Everyday Life. It seems moderately interesting. The cover for the subject reader has a picture of the Simpsons in the middle of it, so I'm sure it'll get more interesting once we get past the introductory theory (ie. What is Culture?) The second lecture I had was Internet Meets Society, which was really good. The lecturer is funny, the subject seems really interesting and there's a good chance that a lot of the other kids might actually also know what a meme is. My timetable confused me so much as to the whereabouts of my French seminar that I didn't even bother trying to work out where it was, and quickly decided that if I wasn't willing to put in the effort required to get to my French classroom, that probably doesn't bode well for my chances of liking the subject. So I'm changing into Australian Politics instead. I'll still keep trying to learn French, but I really hated it as a uni subject. Sorry Mr. V.

So went my first day back at uni. First Professional Writing lecture is on Wednesday, and I'm sure that'll be good. Speaking of which, it's time for Good News Week. See ya!

Caitlin

There is a natural disaster headed your way. You get 4 standard sized canvas grocery totes to fill with valuables and provisions to bring with you to a safe place. What would you put into your 4 bags and why?
Submitted by dejablu503.

Merry in one bag, Mystic in another; lighters, billy can, dried spaghetti, rice and some dog food in another so we don't starve and water in the last so we don't die of thirst. Everything else can pretty much go hang.

I am a farmer who raise ducks and cows. The animals have a total of 9 heads and 26 feet. How many ducks and cows do I have?
Submitted by The BlueTie.

Well, if I was in maths class I'd say 4 cows, 4 ducks and 1 farmer. One of the cows may be his wife, I'm not sure. However, I've just been reading books with demons and mutants in and eating chinese food (mmm, non vegetarian) so I'll say 1 cow with 3 legs because one's been eaten, 1 cow with 4 legs because 2 have been eaten, 1 cow with 4 legs of which none have been eaten, 1 duck with 4 legs, 1 duck with 2 feet and 2 heads, 1 duck with 1 foot and 1 green, slimy pseudo-duck with 2 feet, and finally one 1 transgenic sheep-human hybrid with 6 legs. If you're wondering where the farmer went, the pseudo-duck ate him. Never trust anything with the right number of legs.
Creativity ftw.