Brisinger!

And yes, it needs the exclimation mark. This is mainly because there is a chapter in the book called Brisinger! with an exclimation point. This weirded me out. This weirded me out alot. Chapter titles should not have punctuation.

Brisinger

Christopher Paolini

I re-read Eragon and Eldest before reading this, and was reminded yet again why I hate this series. I despise it absolutly, because despite bad writing, cliched characters, plagerism, quoting, starwars "I am your father..."ish things and generaly making me think that the tough guide would probably be a necersary accesory for anyone living in that world, I like the series. I was even excited about getting the next book. I got it on the day it came out, a couple of hours after the world wide release (2:01 in aus, I got it at 4:00) the lady asked me if I wanted a free poster with that, to which I replied "Err do I have to?" and then she asked if I wanted a free bag, which I accepted before dad could realise that this meant you normaly have to pay for bags there, which he has a rather irrational anger about.

I started reading on the way home, and was rather shocked by the first chapter. Firstly; he actually skipped a large portion of time between the books, during which stuff had happened! It was a revalation! I don't need to know exactly what each character is thinking at every moment of the story! Plus, it was rather gruesome. My second shock was when a storyline was actually resolved. Yay! Resolution!

I kept reading, and more and more I found that, I wasn't laughing at the book. It was still cliched, the nature of the story ensures this, but it wasn't in a way that made me want to stick a knitting needle into the authors knee.

I got into the story very quickly, and was as usual frustrated about that stupid "Eragon... I'm your Brother. Morzans your dad and I'm going to kill you" thing. Very tiresome. But apart from that, I was enjoying it in a way I hadn't enjoyed the previous books, I was enjoying the writing.

Granted, I'm not judging it by the standards I judge other authors, but it was at least the equal to the first chapter of the Magicians Guild (I love you Trudi, but damn that chapter gets on my nerves. Its also partly why I love you, the writing gets better with every word.) And it wasn't that far of being consistantly at the level of Kylie Chan (I feel no need to appoligise for this one, she even admits it on her website, shes a story teller and a brilliant one, but her writing...mmm.) It was actually ok. It might have even verged on good!

And then the moment that made me scream. I think Steph will remember a similar moment when I was reading Eldest. The moments where actually weirdly similar. In both incidents I had woken up early to read, in both incidents I woke up several people. In both incidents the reason involved that stupid, idiotic, fucking cliched piece of drivel that Eragon calls a liniage. Wait... Don't worry, the reason for my scream isn't what you think. Hang on, I want to get this right...I'll just grab the book. 

"...fighting to control the emotions courcing through him, he asked, "When I was last here, did you not know who my father was?"
Oromis nodded once. "We did."
"And did you not know that murtagh was my brother?"
Oromis modded once more. "We did but -"
"Then why didn't you tell me *page long rant including everything that has pissed me off about the book so far, that I mostly didn't read* "I'm not about to betray the elves, or dwarves or varden to Galbatorix if thats what your worried about. I will do what I must, but from now on you have neither my loyalty nor my trust. I will not-"
The to Eragon's surprise, Saphira said to Oromis and Gleadr, Tell Him... This argument is without cause. Do not prolong Eragons discomfort any longer.
"You know?"
I know.
"You know what?" Eragon bellowed...*blah blah blah.. dude this author is almost as good as robert jordon at prolonging things*
"In the first place," said Orromis, "We shall be fortunate if you are anything like your father, which, indeed, I believe you are. And as I was about to say before you interupted me, Murtagh is not your brother. He is your half brother."
"My half brother...But then, who...?"
*Useless stuff. Damn it, Hurry up!*
"Oromis-elda, if Murtagh is my half brother, then who is my father?"
Look into your heart, Eragon, said Gleadr *please don't say 'you know it to be true' please don't say 'you know it to be true'* You already know who he is, and you have known for a long time. *better...marginally.*
Eragon shook his head. "I don't know! I don't know! Please..." *Oooh he's hyperventilating. AWESOME*
A gout of smoke and flame jetted from Glaedr's nostrals as he snorted. Is it not obvious? Your father is Brom.

*3...2...1...SCREAM!*

Thank god for that. Oh THANK YOU! OH THANK YOU! He fixed it! HE FIXED IT! Sure, Brom being his father isn't that much less cliched than Morzan being his father, but its a margin that makes a huge difference to me. It's a margin that might just mean that if I ever meet Christopher Paolini, maybe, just maybee, I won't stab him with a knitting needle. Brom is Eragon's father... see this is how it should be. This way, hes just doing the standard fantasy thing, rather than the complete starwars thing.  Yay for that. Now maybe I can enjoy the rest of the book.

And you know what? I did. Maybe not as much as I would a new Aussie Fantasy or Locke Lamora, or Tolkien or Pierce or Pullman or Locke Lamora but I did enjoy it. It made it worth the $28 I paid for the book.

Highlights where mostly located after the part where I screamed. They included a tree frustrating Eragon and Saphira, Saphira trying to kill the tree, and a rather apprehensive Eragon watching as half the forest walks over and surrounds them. They totaly got beathen up by the trees. Apearences by Angela and Solumum, which was most of the reason I liked the previous books, where again awesome. Eheh rabbits... shall I give you the quote? It was totaly Bard.
"You should think about your wards better. Perhaps you should create a  trinket to give to the spellcasters that protects them from crazed rabbits. You don't know how many spell casters have been killed by crazy rabbits. It's very common."
Yeah. Another highlight was Eragon finally getting a new sword, and it acting completely Tough guide on him, and bursting into fire every time he says it's name. Like realy hot fire, that can actually burn him, and makes him scream, drop his sword and be very careful about NOT telling people what the swords name is, even when they repeatedly ask him. Fun!

I'm not going to say the book wasn't cliched, it was, but it was less so. I'm not going to say the book was brilliant, but it was better. I enjoyed it. I'll probably read it again. Oh and also, this book is huge, HUGE, 763 pages huge. I can't carry this thing around so I better finish it quickly huge. Paolini got more cudos for the last page of the book, which made me breath a sigh of relief.

Here Ends the Third Book
of the Inheritance Cycle.
The Story Will Continue and Conclude
in Book Four.

Why it's spread over so many lines I don't know, they could have made the text smaller, but the fact he's locked himself into finishing the series with the next book makes me feel better about him.

Maybe he's not another Robert Jorden after all.. maybe he will, with more expetience, even be a good author. One that isn't cliched. One that I don't want to stab with a knitting needle.