3 posts tagged “tv”

We've all seen the show are you smarter than a 5th grader, but you may not be aware of the new spin off. It's called "Are you crazy like Gaius Baltar" in this show contestents battle it out with Battlestar Galactica's Ex President, Genius, cause of humanities downfall and resident kook Gaius Baltar. Psychologists will be in attendance, and willers of the show will recieve an all expences paid trip to a psyc ward.

In order to qualify for the grad prize, players will have to prove their insanity against the following tests:

The MRI, which fearlessly adresses fears that participants have alien chips implanted in their brain, the guilt trip where photos of the victims of participants are presented for reveiw. Double talk is an ever popular segment where particpants hold conversations with friends, real and imaginary, both at the same time. All of these have of cource been constatnts in Gaius's life, but of cource he has recently gone above and beyond normal insanity, leading us to create the show.

The begining of "The one god cult" was simple enough, a dozen insane women, one sick boy, a locked corridor and inscence, throw in a Baltar shrine and have him proform a miricle. So his insanity increases, he can heal the sick, he is the voice of god. And then comes the ultimate...

He's had imaginary girlfriends
He's had imaginary girlfriends with imaginary Gaius's
He's had imaginary girlfriends threaten him, lock him in cells, try to get him executed, stop talking to him, tell him he's insane, and generaly torture him.
And now, shes disapeared, to be replaced by...

An inaginary Gaius. Seriously. How self centered can you get?

Battlestar rocks!

I was flicking around this morning and switched onto ABC. Being the morning, they of course have kids tv shows on. But this one? This show expresses exactly what I have always thought it must be like to be on drugs. I'm still watching it, and the psycho colours, crazy music and people laughing have yet to convince me otherwise. I think the shows called "Boohbah" or something similar. It seems to be about fat little creatures who like in  crystals in a sphere of light and fly around the world jumping on children’s heads and making them laugh. There is lots of colours and they are always moving. Its very pretty.

What most freaked me out was when the creatures started swinging there arms and there arms made noises. At this point Nagari came and started barking at them, and then ran and hid. I guess I'm not the only one freaked out by a show that must have been created on a drug high. Oh and did I mention that the narrator sounds exactly how I envisage Marvin from hitchhikers? So sarcastic and depressed and monotonal.

In the time it took me to write this, there have been four more instances of rainbow shiny things I cannot identify, lots more kids laughing, people running around with flippers on, and what must surely be a violation of water restrictions. Plus Marvin keeps talking, and people keep laughing. It's great. Oh, now they are making music with there feet, and possibly by farting. OMG this show gets more and more freakish. now there’s rainbow waves and they can fly! Also, they seem to be able to retract their heads into their necks... freakish.

Hmm, the wikipedia article has no mention of drug induced psychosis. Interesting. If you are still interested in this crazy tv show click here for the website. Seriously click on random stuff. It's crazy, or if you are just interested it the crazy dances and head retraction, click on the weird coloured things with red eyes. Yes, they scare me too. 

Film & TV writers are on strike, which means everything except reality TV could halt production.  Do you support the strike?  Are any of your favorite shows in jeopardy?

Caitlin told me this the other day. My response? Are they going to replace them with bad fanfic writers? No? Then... WHOO HOO! I support the strike, as long as it lasts no longer than a year, and we are not flooded with reality TV (unless it is documentary style AWESOME reality tv lie 'Worlds Deadliest Catch' now that is a great show. It's educational folks!) but Australia won't be flooded. Why? Re-runs. Yep.

You see I don't mind them putting on re-runs. Re runs aren't that bad. And again, I don't think we'll even be flooded with these. You see Australia takes like a year to get anything from America. So it will keep coming in even though nothing new is being produced. It will take at least three months for the supply to run out.

The next reason I applaud the strike is because maybe, just maybe it will force Channel Ten to put popular sci-fi shows like Torchwood and Battlestar Gallactica in reasonable time slots and NOT at 1 am in the morning on a weekday. I mean come on, these things are followed with cult like obsession. You can't tell me they are getting lower ratings than the umpteenth re-run of a crack pot 'documentary' about how they've found Christ's body. I don't believe you, and never will. Next channel. Seriously. Most Christians think they are doing the wrong thing, are lying to make money and are destroying the basis of their religion. The atheists don't believe it because most of them don' believe Christ existed full stop, and I don't believe it. Just because they have a marking that 'may' say 'here lies Jesus son of Josef' does not mean it is THE Jesus son of Joesef. In fact the only people who do believe it are the Da Vinci code adicts who also believe that that triangle thingy at the Louvre (no I don't know how to spell that, and Steph, Marie, Do NOT correct it) is actually a grave. Can I point out that the hundreds of workmen who had to build the damned thing might hav NOTICED if some old guy tried to stick a heap of bones in.

Here's another great reason that this is a positive. American TV is really bad. Yep. It is divided into a few categories. Cop Shows, Medical Shows, Crappy Daytime Soaps and Lost Rip offs and Gilmore Girls. Cop shows are boring, old and no one is even going to notice if they just put on reruns because all the writers of them do is re use old plots in 'new and exciting ways' which would be okay if they hadn't used this particular 'new and exciting way' about six times already. Medical shows. Geeze guys, if you want to see what its like to work in a hospital, watch a bloody documentary, or one of the brilliant American medical show rip offs Australia produces, like 'medical emergency' or 'all saints'. (they are even better than the original!) Crappy day time soaps. Does anyone even watch these? I mean realy watch these, not like in a 'I flick onto the channel once a year and I still understand the plot line' kind of way. No? Thank GOD there is hope for us yet. Lost rip offs include any TV show like Heroes that have no real plot line and instead put of explaining what the hell is going on for three years. These often also fall into the Gilmore Girls Category. The Gilmore Girls category includes all shows that were good and are now horrible due to bad writing or whatever, for example, charmed, Gilmore Girls, lost, house, and about a thousand other shows.

Of cource some american TV shows are excempt from the list, including anything repeatedly axed by channel ten (See first few seasons of charmed while ten was going through it's obsessive big brother stage... oh wait ten is STILL going through its obsessive big brother faze.) anything where seasons disappear, episodes are put in the wrong order repeatedly, or there is a six month gap in the middle of a series (See Bones) Anything that has had it's time slot changed from a popular time slot to 1 am in the morning on a weekday (see Battlestar Gallactica) and anything less than 12 episodes in length that was axed by fox despite having a huge obsessive fan base (see firefly). Of course there are other categories of exemption, but these are the main ones.

So, American tv shows being crap, we need to get them from other sources. And as this strike so far only involves American writers we should have a sudden boom in programing produced in Britain. YES! Bring on the detective shows (these are not cop shows, they do not use the word 'cop' and they don't have American accents. They also don't reuse the same plot lines over and over... well most of them anyway) bring on Doctor who and Torchwood!

Okay fo maybe I got a little sidetracked, but I enjoyed my rant. This is Jessica. Goodbye and good day. (but not G'day. I refuse to be conned into using an Aussie stereotype, there are enough of them on American TV)